Twin Beaks

Some people like fast food.

2012-01-25T16:53:00.003-06:00

We prefer it slow--at least, too slow to cross a road successfully.

Boo, Patriots! I was ravenous for the Ravens to win.

2012-01-22T20:02:00.000-06:00

So do you prefer my profile shot....

2012-01-17T16:47:00.001-06:00

or my straight on shot?

Who was that masked duck?

2012-01-13T21:22:00.001-06:00

The Lone Ranger of the Wetlands.

This year I resolve to eat a vegan diet.

2012-01-02T20:30:00.004-06:00

Of all the food items I eat, goldfinches are by far the tastiest, so I'm going to focus on eating just them. And since goldfinches are true vegans, eating nothing but seeds, that puts me on a true vegan diet!

Happy Owlidays!

2011-12-23T10:35:00.001-06:00

A Veery Berry Christmas to you!

2011-12-23T10:26:00.002-06:00

Be your own kind of beautiful

2011-12-19T23:44:00.000-06:00

Go, Cardinals!

2011-10-27T23:58:00.000-05:00

Go, Cardinals!

2011-10-19T23:19:00.001-05:00

We St. Louis birds have to stick together!

Down with prejudice!

2011-10-10T17:38:00.003-05:00

I don't get it. People set out a veritable feast—sunflower seeds and corn—and then tell us they don't serve our kind. It's just wrong. But I'm proud of my friends—no matter how egregiously those people shun us, we limit our protests to simple civil disobedience, without destroying property (well, we're not perfect here, but we do our best) or saying naughty words. But I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of squirrels and the sons of chickadees will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood and peanuts.

Yum yum!!

2011-10-10T11:20:00.001-05:00

Save birds. Take in a cat.

2011-10-09T20:28:00.002-05:00

What kind of misguided humans think it's "humane" to leave cats outdoors or support feral cat colonies? This one was loose in Port Wing, Wisconsin, eating what birds it could kill even though it was declawed. It's FIV positive, so it's probably been spreading that to cats it came into contact with, and had awful worms. The poor thing wasn't going to survive long with all that, and meanwhile it was going to take out a lot of us birds. Consigning these pitiful things to the wild (remember—Port Wing has bears and foxes and coyotes and even wolves!) is humane only for people who want to close their eyes to their plight or who romanticize the wild from their comfortable homes.

People may be more intelligent than you think.

2011-10-09T19:13:00.003-05:00

I've got my human trained to feed me and clean up after me. She even makes curious vocalizations as if she's trying to call when I do! Plus she's entirely housebroken—and we all know how objectionable and disease-ridden human droppings are!

I don't think it's suitable for owls to have pets--you lose too much freedom if you let a human into your life. But if you've got some problem and need assistance, a human may be the right service animal for you. Remember: to keep one, you must have special permits from the US Fish and Wildlife Service AND your state's department of conservation or natural resources or whatever. The paperwork is a bitch, but if your human attended obedience school, s/he may know how to fill it out for you.

What me--worry?

2011-10-06T17:55:00.000-05:00

Quick Weight Loss Plan

2011-09-22T17:43:00.002-05:00

We shorebirds are famous for our long flights and ability to lose weight on our journeys. Josh Kurz did a story about us with a cool graphic on the Higher Mammals blog. Too bad those pitiful mammals just can't master what we birds can!

Don't you dare call me a BCCH!!!

2011-09-19T23:43:00.001-05:00

What does the NRA have against us?

2011-09-14T09:04:00.002-05:00

The only place in the entire US of A where we Florida Scrub-Jays have ever been found is Florida. We even have the word "Florida" in our name. But do people make us Florida's state bird? Nope, because Marion Hammer, the first woman president of the NRA, thought we don't deserve it because we can't be found over every inch of the state. So the mockingbird—a generic bird that doesn't even have its own song but has to steal bits and pieces of everybody else's sounds—gets that distinction, even though mockingbirds are the state bird of four other states!

It's not like you can find most state birds over every inch of their states. Louisiana's Brown Pelican can only be found along the coast. Maryland's Baltimore Oriole and Minnesota's loon fly the coop every winter, when they can't be found in those states at all. And Delaware's "Blue Hen" can't be found anywhere—it's a fictitious bird of cockfighting fame.

We are certainly the friendliest bird ANYWHERE. What other lifer lands on the hands and heads of birders seeing it for the first time? And because we're both easy to see and only found in Florida, we even boost the state's tourism income. Come on, Florida—we deserve it!

Michigan should have made me their state bird

2011-09-14T09:00:00.003-05:00

For over a century, the only place on the continent where we were known to breed was Michigan. So naturally we assumed when they named a state bird they'd pick us. But NOOOOOOOOOO—they picked the stupid old robin, who you can find just about anywhere. Well, we're not taking this sitting down. Some of us thought, why should we be loyal to a state that doesn't see how special we are? So Wisconsin, here we come!!!!

It's SO easy to give Laura a thrill

2011-09-13T02:22:00.002-05:00

All I have to do is let her make a recording of my whinny and she gets oh, so excited!

How come they never use me in those "Visit California" commercials?

2011-09-12T09:48:00.001-05:00

I'd never live anywhere else!

We told you so! 1136 raptors counted yesterday!

2011-09-12T09:03:00.001-05:00

In September, Hawk Ridge really is the place to be.

Head on up to Hawk Ridge. Yes, I'm talkin' to YOU!

2011-09-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

My beak's bigger than your beak!

2011-09-06T07:32:00.000-05:00

You can't see me up here, can you?

2011-09-06T07:17:00.000-05:00

Here's lookin' at you, kid

2011-09-02T20:26:00.002-05:00

Hey, you kids...

2011-07-08T09:33:00.001-05:00

...Get off my lawn!!!

Sometimes the proper word is

2011-07-08T09:24:00.001-05:00

WHOM.

We've been using disposable diapers...

2011-07-07T22:20:00.001-05:00

...since before you humans were born.

I don't have my pilot's license yet.

2011-07-06T21:02:00.001-05:00

So far I think flying is overrated.

Flowers might not have much protein...

2011-07-02T22:01:00.002-05:00

But they don't fly away from you.

I sing better than you do!

2011-06-27T10:09:00.000-05:00

Rare, and on the side.

2011-06-14T10:29:00.002-05:00

When I say I like my meat still pink, I mean it. And I'm no middle-of-the-road kind of guy. I prefer my food served on the side.

Hotness Delusion Syndrome?

2011-06-08T08:58:00.003-05:00

Nope. We middle-aged male hummingbirds actually ARE hot.

Don't you dare complain about ticks!

2011-06-07T18:50:00.001-05:00

Nobody knows the troubles I've seen.

Look me straight in the eye when I talk to you.

2011-05-31T09:20:00.000-05:00

Yes, I mean YOU!

Who YOU lookin' at?

2011-05-29T21:53:00.000-05:00

Hey, Minnesota DNR!

2011-05-18T07:53:00.003-05:00

Stop using us as your poster child for the NON-GAME wildlife program unless you're gonna put us back on the NON-GAME list. A lot of people contributed to this fund to help us and other non-game species. Now that those contributions have gotten our numbers up, you're letting hunters kill us. It's just not fair.

Here—YOU take it.

2011-05-12T08:59:00.000-05:00

You better be nice to us or Mike Tyson's gonna beat you up!

2011-05-09T18:01:00.002-05:00

Mike Tyson wrote a nice essay about us in the New York Times!

The ol' looking up in the air gag

2011-05-03T12:43:00.001-05:00

The case of the levitating grouse

2011-04-27T11:11:00.001-05:00

I'm the greatest star!

2011-04-06T20:44:00.001-05:00

American Woodcock, a photo by Laura Erickson on Flickr.

People come out to see me every spring, even though we've been doing this show for ages.

The early bird gets the worm.

2011-04-04T18:07:00.002-05:00

But really, who wants worms?

Breaking News: Dick Cheney to Quit Hunting

2011-04-01T12:51:00.006-05:00

TBNews
updated 4/1/2011 12:30:37 PM ET

Former Vice President Richard Cheney surprised a crowd at the National Press Club today with an unexpected announcement—he has decided to stop hunting. “It suddenly hit me—here I’ve been supporting a pro-life agenda, and yet I was shooting countless birds and other living things for fun. I mean—yeah, there was some satisfaction in shooting 70 pheasants and all those ducks in a single day, but in the end, what the hell was I thinking?” Mr. Cheney may have been referencing a widely publicized and criticized canned hunt in Rolling Rock Club in Ligonier Township, Pennsylvania, in 2003, when he and 9 others shot at 500 Ring-necked Pheasants at close range, killing 417. The party also killed a large but still undisclosed number of Mallards.

Has he become anti-hunting? “Don’t get me wrong—I know some hunters who love being outdoors, stalking their prey for hours, and acquiring the skill and stealth of natural predators. They seem to actually love those animals they shoot at. I guess they’re approaching hunting in a pretty sound and moral way. But that was never me—I mean, who are we kidding? I just got my rocks off shooting living things at close range—the more, the better.”

Asked about his July 2010 surgery, when he was outfitted with a left-ventricular assist device, he said, “Now that I think about it, my enjoyment of canned hunts may have been because my heart was defective. Interesting point to consider.”

Will he keep his guns? “Hell yes! You never know when you get a chance to ‘accidentally’ shoot a political opponent in the face.” When asked if that was inconsistent with his pro-life sensibilities, he snorted. “I’ve watched birds long enough to recognize intelligent life. But Democrats? Get real!”

Between you and me...

2011-04-01T11:10:00.003-05:00

...my pet peeve is when people say "between you and I." You'd never say "between we"—it's "between us." It's a simple example of objective case. As a chickadee, English is only a second language for me, but still. Get it right, humans!

Between you and me....

2011-03-30T19:32:00.003-05:00

...it's spring! What else would I be thinking about?

Crap!

2011-03-27T15:29:00.002-05:00

Northern Hawk Owl, a photo by Laura Erickson on Flickr.

Boy oh boy. Photographers are SUPPOSED to want photos of us looking toward the camera, and I obliged this lady plenty. But darned if she didn't keep clicking away when I'd specifically turned my head away for a little privacy while I did my business. How cosmically rude of her.

Man, I love sushi!

2011-03-16T20:52:00.001-05:00

Great Blue Heron and fish a photo by Laura Erickson on Flickr.

I'm the greatest star

2011-02-25T05:48:00.000-06:00

There are a bunch of different hummingbirds visiting this feeder. But who gets all the people jumping? Lil' ol' me! That's life when you're a Glowing Puffleg.

The difference between blue jays and chickadees

2011-02-20T12:06:00.004-06:00

Blue Jay
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

When Blue Jays get caught, they collapse into a pathetic heap. Not us chickadees!!! We'll fight to the finish.

Great Analog cover, or the greatest Analog cover?

2011-02-20T11:28:00.003-06:00

Baths are so important for us singers!

2011-02-20T11:17:00.001-06:00

Northern Mockingbird taking a bath
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

It's much easier to produce high-quality squeaks when I'm squeaky clean.

No, I'm not particularly angry.

2011-02-19T17:12:00.001-06:00

Killdeer
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Why do you ask?

I always sing with my eyes closed.

2011-02-17T18:30:00.002-06:00

Red-winged Blackbird
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Don't you?

Color Combinations

2011-02-15T06:27:00.001-06:00

Roseate Spoonbill
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Who says you should never wear pink with red, or that shades of pink and red don't go with orange and a trace of yellow? MY color palette includes all of those and more!

If I can catch it...

2011-02-14T10:25:00.002-06:00

...I can swallow it. Just give me time.

When I itches...

2011-01-29T05:00:00.001-06:00

Blue-winged Teal
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

...I scratches.

Go, Bears!!

2011-01-21T12:36:00.001-06:00

Barred Owl
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Go Packers!

2011-01-21T12:35:00.000-06:00

Monk Parakeet
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Of course we're loyal to the yellow and green!!

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation...

2011-01-17T09:33:00.001-06:00

Black-capped Chickadee
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

...or so I've heard.

To err is human.

2011-01-17T01:00:00.003-06:00

Sounds about right to me.

As long as the water's open, I'm staying!

2011-01-17T00:19:00.001-06:00

Common Goldeneye
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

So what if the air's 10 or 15 below? Water that is not frozen is at least 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Of course, if you don't have a thick layer of down feathers and a waterproof outer layer, you're doomed. But that hardly applies to me. I laugh at the cold.

That sneaky person

2011-01-13T11:26:00.002-06:00

Archimedes the Eastern Screech-Owl
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

That woman I live with is sure sneaky. She left recording equipment with me the other night when she went to bed, and didn't tell me it was on! I'd have done my louder, cooler calls if I'd known. I was quiet all night until about 1:30, when I just felt like talking for a bit. But I didn't do my cool trill, or my regular, longer, full-strength whinny. Anyway, if you're interested, here's my entire night's production, an unedited recording which lasts a little more than 4 minutes, with all my normal pauses between calls.

My favorite children's story

2011-01-12T10:26:00.002-06:00

Red-tailed Hawk
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

The Adventures of Max the Maggot: How an Insignificant Little Grub Saved the Life of a Mighty Hawk.

So I thought I'd give her a thrill

2011-01-11T21:56:00.002-06:00

Archimedes
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

That human who lives with me brings me a freshly defrosted mouse every night, and she's really not such a bad person, for a human. So tonight I gave her a thrill—I let her record my voice. I wasn't about to let loose with some great calls, not with the microphone right there, but still, I've never seen her so excited. Was it really worth it?

The sad truth about Woodstock

2011-01-09T18:55:00.004-06:00

Prothonotary Warbler
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Anyone with a field guide to North American birds knows that Woodstock is a female Prothonotary Warbler, artistically captured during an unfortunate moment in her molt. She started her Peanuts role as secretary, a befitting role for any prothonotary. (If you don't believe me, look it up!) What people may not realize is that this poor bird had to pretend to be a male in order to be accepted as a friend, rather than a "lowly" secretary, by a certain beagle who shall go unnamed.

What to do if TSA gropes you

2010-12-12T11:32:00.001-06:00

Taking revenge
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

We chickadees have absolutely no constitutional rights. But we can fly freely without anyone X-raying or groping us.

People can see those other chickadees anywhere.

2010-12-11T16:13:00.002-06:00

Boreal Chickadee
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

C'mon up to the Sax Zim Bog Birding Festival to see ME!

Hey--come on up and visit ME!

2010-12-11T16:10:00.002-06:00

Northern Hawk Owl
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

I love the Sax-Zim Bog Birding Festival. Some of those other owls are shy around people, but not us Northern Hawk Owls. Come on up and visit!

Not so very angry, but still...

2010-12-11T15:52:00.007-06:00

Guess how many royalties I get for posing on all those Christmas cards. Not one penny. Nada. ZILCH!

So I'm on a very limited budget. But I know what I'm getting all my friends this year. Not that I have anything against pigs, but this is fun.

Gotta hand it to Bernie Sanders

2010-12-10T23:20:00.001-06:00

Northern Mockingbird
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

He can talk way longer without a break than I can. He repeats less than I do, too. But just like me, he tells it like it is.

The right side of the window

2010-12-05T12:09:00.002-06:00

Kasey and Gray Squirrel
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Birds wish ALL cats were on that side of the window. Us squirrels, too!

Shhhhh!

2010-11-24T14:28:00.001-06:00

Wild Turkey
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Don't tell anyone I'm hiding up here.

Aren't little girls SO interesting?

2010-10-04T07:35:00.001-05:00

Katie and baby jay
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

You never know what they're going to say or do.

The Visionary

2010-10-02T01:36:00.001-05:00

The Visionary
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

If I see farther than others, it's because I stand in a big ol' tree.

Who says we birds don't poop in flight?

2010-07-28T17:51:00.001-05:00

Brown Pelican
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Keeping white feathers white

2010-07-08T16:32:00.001-05:00

Common Loon
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

I'm rather proud of my plumage, if I do say so myself. Anyone have any suggestions for keeping it beautiful this winter in the Gulf?

Bird deterrent?

2010-07-08T15:52:00.002-05:00

American Crow
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

BWAAAAAHHH! I don't think so.

The world seems like a wonderful place to be!

2010-07-07T12:34:00.004-05:00

Common Loon
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Mommy and Daddy are catching fish for me, and also teaching me how to find and catch my own. And they're showing me how to protect myself from danger. They've been alive for many years, and know everything loons need to know to survive. They said sometimes we get a storm or Bad Thing, but they also said that when I made it to the Gulf of Mexico this fall, it would be really fun and exciting, and I'd know just how to deal with any problems I encountered. What could be better? Yep--earth's the right place for me!

No way!

2010-07-07T08:28:00.001-05:00

Common Loon
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Daddy, that fish is just too big for me to eat.

Yes, my head is indeed streamlined.

2010-07-06T17:00:00.001-05:00

Common Loon
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

It helps me be fast--under water and in the air.

Thought I'd give people a treat!

2010-07-05T08:39:00.001-05:00

Alder Flycatcher
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

We Alder Flycatchers don't usually pose for photos. But heck--we're as beautiful as any, in my opinion, so I decided it was time to let a photographer see me up close and personal. Click on the photo and view "all sizes" to see how close I let her in. And after you look, please go away.

Every day is Flyday.

2010-07-03T16:41:00.001-05:00

Alder Flycatcher
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

Hey, Gray Jays!

2010-07-03T15:05:00.001-05:00

Snowshoe Hare and Wood Ticks
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

I heard you guys are good at pulling ticks. Prove it! PLEASE!

Idyllic summer

2010-07-02T14:09:00.001-05:00

Magnolia Warbler
Originally uploaded by Laura Erickson

I sure hope the oil gusher is over, and everything is cleaned up, by the time I head down to the tropics. I can't afford gas masks for me, my mate, and our chicks.